Let’s talk about sex — and consent | Letter

Training “needs to be community wide, it should start in the schools and it should start early.”

Actually, let’s talk about consent, and the need for consent training in our schools. It’s time that we start countering the toxic masculinity found in so much of our media, with real conversations around what a healthy sexual experience looks like. Consent, not conquest.

As the father of a little girl, it may first seem as though my interest in this topic comes from a desire to protect her. And while that is partially true, I’m just as concerned with protecting my son. Protecting him from the feelings I’ve been struggling with for several months.

As more and more women begin to open up about the harassment and sexual abuse they face just for being women, and again with the recent story about Aziz Ansari, I’ve taken a hard look at my own past sexual encounters, and it’s an uneasy feeling. Did I push women into sex? How many times did I not take the first “no” seriously, or try to put my hand back in a place from which it had already been removed?

I’m 38 years old, and it’s only been for the last year or so that I’ve begun to grasp the potential harm I was inflicting. I’m not afraid to be open about this, because I know that nearly every man has done the same. It’s why nearly every woman has a #MeToo story.

It’s a byproduct of a culture that primarily views sex from a male lens, making us believe that women need a little extra push to be interested. They don’t, and that way of thinking needs to be extinguished. The time is up.

I don’t want my daughter having to learn how to protect herself from overly amorous boys. I want my son to learn how to wait until there is enthusiastic consent from a potential partner, and to not persist, and persist and persist until that consent is faked, just to please him.

It’s a training that needs to be community wide, it should start in the schools and it should start early.

Patrick Allcorn

Mercer Island

In consideration of how we voice our opinions in the modern world, we’ve closed comments on our websites. We value the opinions of our readers and we encourage you to keep the conversation going.

Please feel free to share your story tips by emailing editor@mi-reporter.com.

To share your opinion for publication, submit a letter through our website https://www.mi-reporter.com/submit-letter/. Include your name, address and daytime phone number. (We’ll only publish your name and hometown.) We reserve the right to edit letters, but if you keep yours to 300 words or less, we won’t ask you to shorten it.


More in Letters to the Editor

Stay healthy and safe, Mercer Island | Letter from the mayor

Dear Mercer Island Community, A couple of weeks ago we celebrated the… Continue reading

Letter to the Editor, Jan. 22, 2020

MIYFS Foundation Breakfast

Letters to the editor, Oct. 23, 2019

Letters on the upcoming election.

Letters to the Editor, Oct. 30, 2019

Political letters not in print.

Send your letters to cmorris@soundpublishing.com.
More letters supporting Mercer Island City Council candidates

Letter writers support Anderl, Rosenbaum, Thompson

Letters to the Editor, Oct. 16, 2019

Election letters; troubling advertisements

Letters to the Editor, Sept. 18, 2019

Safety issues; politics in general; candidate endorsements

Letters to the Editor, Sept. 11, 2019

Candidate endorsements; thank you