Fathers make a difference in children’s lives/ John Hamer

Published 3:30 pm Monday, June 22, 2026

“Fathers matter.” That’s how I ended my pre-Father’s Day column, “What did we men learn from our fathers?”

It was about how my father influenced me by passing along values, lessons and skills. I also asked some old friends to tell how their fathers had impacted their lives. I got some great responses. Most of us had good fathers to shape our lives.

But on June 17, with Father’s Day approaching, I attended an extraordinary event that reminded me again of how vital it is for children to have a responsible father — or other positive male role model such as a grandfather, stepfather, uncle or older brother.

“The Highway to Fatherhood Benefit” was sponsored by DADS (www.aboutdads.org), a Seattle-based nonprofit that has existed for more than 25 years. This year’s event was at Park Place in Bellevue, a great venue full of vintage automobiles.

My Mercer Island Rotary Club (www.mirotary.org) has supported DADS with several local grants. The co-founders of DADS, Marvin and Jeanett Charles, have spoken to our club twice. Members of our club visited the DADS office last year. DADS is a community-based, faith-guided 501c3 nonprofit supported by private donations, government, corporate and foundation grants. It’s one of our state’s most vital and effective nonprofit organizations.

“Stronger Fathers, Healthier Communities” is their motto. Mission statement: “To give fathers hope by walking together in supportive community, helping navigate the relational and legal barriers that separate them from their children and families.”

The problem of fatherlessness, or “father absence,” is widespread in America. An estimated 17.8 million children — 1 in 4 — grow up without a biological, step or adoptive father in the home. Granted, many single mothers do a great job of raising their children alone.

However, children in fatherless homes are more likely to live in poverty, drop out of school, struggle with behavioral challenges, experience abuse or neglect, commit crimes and become incarcerated. A common path for fatherless teens: Boys join gangs; girls get pregnant.

DADS was started by Marvin and Jeanett in their living room in South Seattle in 1998 after both decided to end years of self-destructive behavior — drugs, alcohol, crime, broken families. (See aboutdads.org for gripping videos by Scott Yamamura.)

As the event’s printed program stated: “We serve non-custodial and custodial fathers who want to be more present in their children’s lives regardless of where they are starting from. Through case management, fathering classes, child support guidance, parenting plan assistance, and weekly support groups, we walk alongside fathers as they navigate the systems, relationships, and barriers that stand between them and their children.”

Since its founding, DADS has:

• Served 5,932 fathers.

• Touched 13,523 children’s lives.

• Served 78% men of color, 49% with a history of incarceration.

• Taught 227 fathering classes including more than 200 students, with a 69% graduation rate.

• Helped 62% of fathers reunite with their children from 2021 to 2025.

The annual DADS galas, always held around Father’s Day, began as small family-style dinners at Seattle Pacific University, then moved to hotels including the Hyatt Regency in Renton. Past keynote speakers included Doug Baldwin, Darryl Strawberry and Bruce Harrell. This year took a different approach, a light buffet and a several-item auction with emcee Gee Scott. A “raise the paddle” drew generous donations.

One highlight of the evening: testimonials of fathers who DADS helped reunite with their children. The “Tommy Jones Award,” named for Jeanett Charles’ father, is “in honor of the spirit that has driven this organization since its founding — the spirit of men who come out of drug culture, incarceration, and broken systems, and who refused to let those things be the end of their story.”

This year’s award went to Donald Pleasant, 36, who came to DADS only a few months ago to seek help for his addiction. He took the fatherhood training class run by DADS leaders Gregory Adams and Larry Brooks.

Pleasant said he now has 199 days of sobriety and is in barber school, plus has an art gallery in Seattle where he specializes in portraits. He is now in close contact with his son, 11.

In powerful remarks, Pleasant said his mother raised seven children as a single parent. “She wasn’t just our mother. She was our father too. But the greatest lesson she ever gave me came while she was lying on her deathbed: ‘Mommy needs you to man up.’”

Pleasant said: “The truth is, I had grown older but I had not grown up. I continued to live in addiction. I continued to make poor decisions. I continued to blame circumstances, blame people, blame the world. Then one day I had to look in the mirror. I realized that if my life was ever going to change, I had to man up.”

He added: “Being a father is not just a title. It’s a responsibility.” He added: “You at DADS are changing the world one father at a time.”

The event ended with everyone in the audience standing and reciting the “Fatherhood Pledge.” Excerpts:

“To become a better dad,

I will turn my life around,

Face the truth, and break free from the things

that at one time held me down….

To become a better dad,

I will do what men do:

Mature, respect women, love and serve others.

And that includes my children too….

I will become a better dad, no matter how tough, I won’t quit

or give up,

Through the support of my faith, family, and community,

Until my last breath and my eyes finally shut.”

It bears repeating: “Fathers matter.”

John Hamer is a former editorial writer/columnist for The Seattle Times and an active Mercer Island Rotarian. He has been a supporter of DADS for many years. He is a stepfather to four grandchildren, ages 7 to 13.