Our neighborhood night out brought us together | Hamer

Published 1:01 pm Monday, August 11, 2025

Last Tuesday was National Night Out, where neighbors all over America gathered to help thank police, firefighters, and other first responders for their vital service.

It’s also a great way to get to know each other better and seek common ground in these polarized times.

In my neighborhood, one neighbor and I invited all our neighbors to join us for a block party next to her house. We have done this for several years.

I have some friends who are skeptical or cynical about such efforts, saying we are so deeply divided that we can never get along. One (who shall remain nameless here) wrote on Facebook:

“National Night Out is a fine thing, but what common ground is there, really….When there is no shared reality, discussion is futile. When government is utterly broken, how can it be fixed? Fact deniers, evil gerrymanderers, rule smashers, law corrupters, authoritarians and moronic satanic clowns on one side, mostly well-meaning but ineffectual officials on the other. Put a fork in it, America’s a corpse.”

A corpse? Yikes. Pretty harsh. I told him that he inspired me to write a column, so here goes.

He is wrong – factually, rationally, morally, ethically, politically, ideologically, and demonstrably wrong. Our NNO party was irrefutable proof. Here’s what happened:

My neighbor and I – who vote differently on most candidates and issues – publicized the event and invited all our neighbors. We set up a table and chairs with food and beverages, then greeted everyone as they arrived.

Two police officers dropped by and one of them turned out to be the School Resource Officer (SRO) at my grandson and granddaughter’s elementary school. She was well acquainted with my grandson, who uses a wheelchair. She and my wife bonded. The officers also brought “badges” and toys for kids.

A couple we had only met briefly talked about the big construction project (water-main replacement) that has torn up our streets and made walking and driving hazardous.

My wife and I spoke at length with a couple originally from China who are now American citizens. We found much to agree on, including our dim views of the current Chinese government and our strong support for Taiwan.

A doctor we didn’t know well brought his son. The father is from Canada and we discussed the current strain in U.S.-Canadian relations. The son goes to college in Montreal and laughed that he sometimes hides his American identity by talking like a Canadian!

A couple new to our neighborhood brought their three children, one of whom is disabled and socially shy. We talked about MI’s school programs for kids with disabilities.

Our favorite local pizza place, Pagliacci, delivered four hot pizzas (one cheese, one pepperoni) for free, which they did at several similar gatherings around Mercer Island. We got photos of the pizza guy and pizza gal.

Two construction workers on a big backhoe saw our group and we waved for them to join us. They drove down our street and we gave them pizza and Cokes.

So, did we find common ground? Did we have civil discourse? Yes, at least on some things and at least for awhile. The old question, “Can’t we all just get along?” kept going through my mind. The answer: Not always, but sometimes. And that’s a good thing.

If we know and understand each other better, maybe we can find agreement on some of the bigger issues that divide us.

Is that naïve? Pollyannaish? Am I wearing rose-colored glasses? I’ve been accused of that. Maybe I’m just a “cockeyed optimist,” as the old song goes. But as I get older, I find it’s a more rewarding approach than disparaging those who disagree with me, as some of my Facebook friends seem to do.

When I got home, I pulled out a book I found recently in our Little Free Library right up the street: Love Your Enemies by Arthur C. Brooks. The subtitle is: “How Decent People Can Save America From the Culture of Contempt.” He wrote it in 2019, but its message may be even more vital today.

Brooks begins with a quote from Abraham Lincoln’s First Inaugural Address: “We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.” The address includes Lincoln’s famous appeal to “the better angels of our nature.”

NOTE: For those who would like to know more about Brooks, he will be the keynote speaker at the Washington Policy Center’s Annual Dinner on Sept. 11 at the Hyatt Regency Bellevue. Tickets at wpcdinner.com. I’ll be there, because some of my favorite neighbors invited us to join their table!

Hey, isn’t that what good neighbors are all about?

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John Hamer (jhamer46@gmail.com) is a former editorial writer/columnist for The Seattle Times. He has lived on Mercer Island for 25 years, first on North Mercer Way, then East Mercer Way, and now above West Mercer Way. He has tried to get to know his neighbors at each location.