Last month, DADS came to Mercer Island Rotary, so this month Mercer Island Rotary went to DADS.

DADS (aboutdads.org) is a unique Seattle nonprofit organization that addresses the widespread problem of fatherlessness. It is faith-based: The acronym is Divine Alternatives for Dads Services.

My Mercer Island Rotary Club (mirotary.org) just awarded them a $2,500 grant to support their work. I suggested some of our members visit the DADS headquarters in Seattle to meet their staff.

DADS CEO Marvin Charles picked us up in their van in front of the Mercer Island Community and Event Center. Steve Sheppard, Diane Tien, Greg Asimakoupoulos and I gathered at the DADS offices near Seattle University, where Marvin’s wife Jeanett, DADS COO, greeted us. “This meeting was heaven sent,” she told me.

Larry Brooks, Program Facilitator, welcomed us in their conference room. Other DADS staffers – Johnny Gage, Project Manager; Gregory Adams, Program Coordinator; and Monique Mason, Director of Operations, joined us.

On the wall is a large framed quotation: “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers.” (Malachi 4:6)

“The work DADS does is unique,” said Brooks. “We help fathers who want to reengage in their children’s lives, often after years of separation.”

“Fathers are the cornerstone of the family,’ added Monique. “But our fathers have been disengaged.”

Since 2021, DADS has served almost 1,650 parents and nearly 4,000 children. Of the fathers helped, 83% identify as men of color; 51% have a history of incarceration; and 17% of substance abuse.

DADS was formed in the late 1990s by Marvin and Jeanett, who were both struggling with addiction and other problems. Marvin had been arrested and incarcerated. They both had children from other relationships, but had a new baby together.

Marvin got on a bus with their infant daughter to leave her on the steps of Harborview Hospital. But he had a change of heart and asked God for help. He took the baby to Child Protective Services, where he was told if he and Jeanett got clean and sober — and got married – they might get their daughter back. They did. And started DADS.

Johnny Gage told us: “I knew Marvin from the streets. He approached me with the idea of DADS. Just the fact of fathers helping fathers appealed to me. We met around their kitchen table for that first year.”

Gregory Adams knew Marvin since high school at Garfield. He grew up without a father, began a life of crime at an early age and became a highly successful drug dealer. He was on “Washington’s Most Wanted” list but never got caught.

“I knew I had to surrender,” Greg said. “I wanted to turn my life around. I thought I was surrendering to law enforcement, but I was surrendering to the Lord.” He has spent 6 years at DADS and directs their quarterly Fatherhood Training Program, where young fathers learn the basic skills of being good dads. “They want us to tell them how to be a father,” he said. The program in the past 3 years has taught dozens of dads and hosts a graduation ceremony where mothers and children often reunite with the fathers.

“Greg is where the rubber meets the road,” Johnny told us. “When young dads come in here, he’s the perfect connection. He gets it. He has the lived experience.”

Monique added: “Relatability is the key here. It’s like how only cancer patients can really understand what other cancer patients are going through.”

Diane asked Monique what it was like working with these men. She replied: “We all relate to the young fathers in different ways. Jeanett can talk about the family, Marvin can talk about addiction and incarceration. Whatever our backgrounds, our parents are the most important relationships we have.”

Larry added: “We sort of teach each other.” He and Marvin have spent time in Portland recently to help start programs working with incarcerated fathers. DADS also has an office in Tacoma.

“Marvin has a vision: In every city’s urban core, they need a DADS program,” Larry said. “At least 90 percent of men who are incarcerated didn’t have fathers engaged in their lives.”

Johnny related how he began using drugs at a young age. “Why did I start using dope? When you look at addiction and other social ills, it often comes down to not having a father.”

Steve asked if some young dads resist efforts to change. Johnny replied: “Yes, they criticize the mothers at first, but we tell them we’re not going to focus on mothers. After two or three sessions, they begin to acknowledge their role.”

Greg added: “We tell them: ‘She’s mad at you. You fathered her children and you left them.’ He related how one young man hugged the mother of his children at the graduation ceremony and said: “I’m sorry. I did it wrong.” “There wasn’t a dry eye din the house,” Greg said.

One chapter in the curriculum book for the fatherhood classes is titled, “Man Up!” Greg said: “We want them to be hungry for family.”

Larry added: “When they come in this door, they’re up against the system. They either want to kill somebody or kill themselves.” Other chapters are on parenting plans, joint custody, child support, courtroom etiquette, conflict resolution, etc. DADS call themselves “system navigators.”

Johnny noted that there are other fatherhood advocacy programs around the country, “But very few do direct service, where you meet with dads and teach them how to be good fathers.”

In an adjacent conference room, we met briefly with a group of men who ranged from young fathers to a former Los Angeles gang member to an aging grandfather. It’s a weekly Bible study.

DADS is clearly doing the Lord’s work.

John Hamer (jhamer46@gmail.com), a former Seattle Times editorial writer/columnist, has supported DADS for almost 20 years.