A letter from a concerned nephew / Greg Asimakoupoulos
Published 4:30 pm Monday, June 29, 2026
I began reading the newspaper when I was in junior high school. In addition to the sports section, my favorite part of the paper was Dear Abby’s column. I appreciated the way Abigail Van Buren helped her faithful followers navigate challenging life situations.
As our “extended family” finds itself in a difficult place, I decided to express my concern in the following letter…
Dear Abby,
My great-uncle is having a milestone birthday this weekend and my relatives have mixed feelings about it. While the majority of our extended family simply wants to celebrate our uncle’s achievements over his long and amazing life, there are those who are trying to hijack his celebration to serve their own purposes. Some have plans to remodel his home without his complete buy in. Others are objecting to certain songs we always sing on his birthday. Still others are reluctant to celebrate.
Abby, I’ve appreciated your wise counsel over the years when issues have divided families. I’m hopeful you can help our family sort out this thorny dilemma. Let me give you some background.
In spite of my uncle’s complicated birth, he has achieved unprecedented success and acclaim. The patriarch of our clan is a giant among his peers. In light of his humble beginnings, he has had a disproportional influence in most every country across the globe. From the time he was an adolescent he has been the standard by which the rest of the world has measured achievement.
Don’t get me wrong, Abby! My uncle is far from perfect. Although he has touched countless lives for good, he admits to making choices in the past he deeply regrets. As is generally the case, the consequences of those ill-advised behaviors continue to cast a shadow on those to whom he’s related. He wishes he could go back and undo that of which he is ashamed. But alas he must live with knowledge of those he misjudged and hurt.
All the same, my dear uncle has learned much from his mistakes. He contributes generously to support causes that seek to improve the lot of those suffering from homelessness, hunger and injustice. Embracing the words we recite whenever we pledge allegiance to our flag, my uncle is committed to creating a nation where there is liberty and justice for all. After all, he believes (as do I) that we are one nation under God and thus accountable to our Creator.
As our uncle’s big birthday bash approaches, not all our neighbors who live across the pond are in the partying mood. For many, there is concern about our patriarch’s health that inhibits their ability to celebrate. Some cousins have inadvertently called into question his mental faculties by unwise decisions they have made on his behalf that he has not successfully overruled.
There is another reason the upcoming celebration is not being lauded by our foreign friends. Some of our cousins traveling abroad have tarnished our uncle’s reputation by behavior unbecoming to the values for which he has historically stood. Without regard for customs valued by the local culture, these relatives of mine have insensitively forgotten their manners not remembering they are guests.
Abby, our extended family has been through a lot in recent years and most of us are hoping that this upcoming celebration will do much to pull us together again. Sure, there is much about which we disagree when it comes to religion, politics and cultural norms. But there is far more that unites us as we page through our memory albums. Our dear uncle needs to be reminded that his family loves him in spite of our differences. I am convinced that what he wants most for this milestone birthday are nephews and nieces who get along.
What would you suggest, Abby? What might we do that would help us make the most of our Uncle Sam’s birthday? How can we lovingly confront those relatives who are making life difficult for the family?
Sincerely,
A Grateful Nephew
Guest columnist Greg Asimakoupoulos is a former chaplain at Covenant Living at the Shores in Mercer Island.
